Baes in Tinderland

The title of this blog is an obvious (but also cute?) homage to the 1903 operetta Babes in Toyland, which was made into a movie with old-timey comedy duo Laurel and Hardy in 1931 and again by Disney in 1961.

Truth: I’ve never seen this production in any of its versions and when reviewing the plot on Wikipedia(no shame) I found my eyes glazing over. It’s so complicated and weird! It features Mother Goose, a cute but vulnerable pair of lovebirds named Mary Contrary and Tom Piper, villains with Italian names (Gonzorgo and Roderigo), a sleuth named Barnaby who hires said villains, Gypsies, a Toymaker, some sheep, and a far-out, very non-Airbnb-esque place – ‘The Forest of No Return.’

I can’t make heads or tails out of the production, but in a way it’s a fitting title for the issue at hand. *Crowd gasps*: whatever does she mean? Referring to fairy tales when writing about Tinder? No way! Isn’t this blog all about Bumble?!

Yes, and not exclusively (yes, that’s another play on words for those of us keeping track). The main focus of the blog is about Bumble, true dat. But I’ve actually used Tinder for longer and had far more success, which is another story for another book.  With that admitted, I thought it’d be kind of interesting to include some of my more current dating experiences and reflections into the hive talkin’ we’ve been doing for the last few months. I haven’t been on Bumble since January 2018 and that, dear friends, was a lot of dates ago!

Fast-forward to now: After all the fun and even more frustration, I’ve finally experienced what loads of other coupled people (OMG) have told me about over the years: deleting the app when you and your bae mean something or are actually a thing or a ting! It’s spoken and written about as a stressful, vulnerable moment—how to broach the issue? What if he’s not on the same page? What if we’re not ‘something’? And, of course, what if we are? The last question can be scary to ponder, even if, deep down, it’s what you want and sense your partner does too.

It’s wild to take that next step for MANY reasons, one of which is the way many dating apps seem to depend on us connecting with a bunch of people at the same time, dating lots of them, and having an endless round of choices – the perpetual grassy fields that might just be greener than the one we’re currently watering.

After my many months of swiping, I had begun to wonder if ANYONE ends up with just ONE person anymore – honestly!

But, then I met him, on Tinder, and after date #4, by the light of the summer evening we each deleted the square flame. It was fast and painless, which is how it should be. I mentioned my upcoming travels to get the ball rolling and he said he hoped I wouldn’t be ‘tinder-ing’ while I was gone. I said I’m only interested in him. When he said he wasn’t sure how to delete it, I casually took his phone and held the app until it began to jiggle, and then I handed it back to him. I then went to my settings, selected Tinder, and uninstalled the now not-so-eternal flame.

It was that easy. We had a couple other conversations about him being my guy and me being his girl. Hey, who knew 50s drive-in talk could be simultaneously so fiery, cute and cool? Not me. After all the complicated conversations and interactions and lack thereof throughout my digital dating history, I forgot how sweet it is to be simple – and simply happy with one person, not dozens of potentials.

Unlike Babes in Toyland, I managed to get boo’d up without anyItalian thugs, mother geese, people making toys or forests from which we don’t return. Although romance can feel and certainly be a weird fantasyland at times, when the time is right things can happen; it’s pretty special.

Just because I have officially clipped my Bumble wings and extinguished my Tinder flame, does not mean I will be disappearing. I still have five months of sticky, sexy and sad material to share, so stay tuned and keep sliding into my inbox with your questions!

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